A huge blowout, a small tussle, whatever the circumstance, it’s over. Your significant other has gone and left you completely alone. So now, you’re wondering what you’ll do. You might ask yourself, “How can I get them back?” as you ponder the events leading up to the breakup. Unfortunately, there is no singular, guaranteed way to get back together with your ex after a particularly difficult breakup.
However, there are definitely some things you can try to re-kindle that relationship. For starters, take out a slip of paper and write down some of the things that you feel may have had a hand in the breakup. Ask yourself some open-ended questions to try and reveal something that you might not have seen before. Did I spend enough time considering their needs? Did I make a solid effort to be affectionate and attentive? Doing this can allow you to make great strides toward understanding how you can win your ex back and potentially salvage the relationship.
After doing this and coming up with some answers, invite your ex to a neutral meeting place where you can comfortably discuss what went wrong. Take this opportunity to ask them the same questions that you asked yourself and see if their responses mirror your own. If needed, make a copy of your questions and responses before going to meet with your ex. Make it clear to them that you would honestly and openly desire to be a part of their life again and you’d be honored to have them in yours. Wait patiently for their response and don’t force a response or decision. Also, keep your emotions at bay during this time. If they respond in anger or need to gush all over you, allow them to feel those emotions and remain calm. If you see an opportunity or an area where you have failed them, apologize sincerely.
Go through line by line and work through whatever they mention with patience and love. Don’t be overly affectionate initially- you’ll want to take this delicate time to ease back into things slowly. Show them that your apology is sincere not simply by your words, but by your actions if they’ve pinpointed a failure of yours within the relationship (Your forgetfulness surrounding an anniversary perhaps). Take initiative to work through their criticism and welcome it. There may be moments of sheer brutality when someone’s honest about how they’re feeling with you, but don’t reciprocate these feelings or respond in the same manner. Take it in stride, and make it clear you appreciate their perspective, even if you don’t completely agree with it.
Gradually, your ex should warm up to you. If you can prove yourself to be faithful and diligent about listening and being understanding, there’s a solid chance you can have them back in your life. However, be sure to guard yourself against repeating the same mistakes. You certainly don’t want to undermine your sincerity in reaching this resolution and find yourself back in the same place, wondering how you lost your ex again.
[tags]breakup, how to get back with ex, rekindle relationship, love, how to win your ex back, get ex back, dating, relationships[/tags]
