Arguably, most prevalent and recurring problem facing today’s youth is ‘break ups’. These heart wrenching separations are so painful and vivid and sadly, occur quite frequently. Ever now and then we’ve all heard a moaning youngster drone on about how badly they want their ex girlfriend back. While no one would argue how sad and regretful he might be, does he stop and consider why she may have left him? Has he taken the time and devoted some introspection into the root of the relationship failure? Usually the pain exists on both sides. It’s not always that the girl has simply thrown him away at her whim either. Perhaps she was pushed to her emotional limits and had no choice but to take a dramatic action. It’s easy to expect others to do certain things without taking the time to consider what the partner’s expectations might be.
Let’s step through the situation step by step and take a closer look. Obviously when a boy says, “I want my ex girlfriend back” he has had some kind of a rough time going through a bad breakup. So what elements may have lead up to this situation? There are many, many books that describe the difference in the basic nature, illustrating men and women and their respective difference, but one recurring observation you’ll find in most of these books is that women tend to think with their heart while men tend to think with their head. This is one of the root causes of many differences experienced within relationships. There are some very small things that can make a girl exceedingly happy such as an occasional flower or a surprise gift or simply just being together. It’s not necessarily the boy’s fault that these things don’t strike him very often because his mind is designed to pick up on many of these subtleties. However, the problem occurs when in spite of constant hints the boy does not react to these seemingly small, small things and they eventually evolved into huge issues that can end up breaking a relationship.
What role can we as friends play in this situation? If you are a friend of the boy in the relationship, you could help him a great deal in providing him counsel. This may not be ideal at the onset of the breakup as the scars on his heart are still fresh and the hurt is too deep. This will likely cause the boy to ignore or outright reject the very sound advice you give him. It is only after he has reached a stage of acceptance and said, “I want my ex girlfriend back,” that the wisdom of your words will begin to resonate with him. You have to fight to go deeper with him and explore the situation in its entirety that lead to the breakup and notice those seemingly insignificant omissions from his side of the story. This is the point where you need to tell him to make amends to the best of his abilities and in all hopes, if the girl is wise enough and can also take a step back from the situation, things should settle down and he can become truly happy once again.
A pivotal piece of information to keep in mind, is that for who’s going through the stress of a breakup is that he’s not facing this alone. There are hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people who have the same problem that he is going through or have experienced it in the past. Secondly, just as failure is the grandest instructor, so are the breakups for strengthening your relationship. This is simply a part of growing and you should never give up hope or lose heart. Even if the girl does not come back to you, you should take solace in the fact that it is her loss and not yours and carry on with your life despite the difficulty. In a world of over six billion people, surely there must be someone better than her reserved for you and that may just be why the breakup occurred in the first place. So always hold fast to your optimism no matter what life throws at you and never lose heart!
[tags]separation, break up, want ex girlfriend back, relationship, love, get my girlfriend back, ex girlfriend, dating[/tags]
